Monday, December 19, 2011

Stones, Glass Houses, and other breakable items.

I think that the most poisonous action in our society is what I like to call throwing stones.... Judgement.  It is impossible not to do.  EVERYONE does it...... no exceptions.  (well, except maybe the Dali Llama, but I haven't met him so I won't assume).

Why is it that people think that if we throw stones, it helps to build our foundation?  Make us look stronger?  Because it doesn't.  Ultimately, it makes you look weak and every single one of us RESIDES in a glass house.  So at some point, someone will be throwing one back. 

I think this can pertain to so many things.  Let's make a list:

  1. Friendships.  Think about yours....when was the last time you made a mistake in a friendship that you truly value?  I mean, I can think of way too many.  My hope always is that my friend on the receiving end realizes that it is just that... a mistake.  That I didn't mean to upset/hurt/react in any way negatively.  But hey, I came from Adam, I make mistakes.  So now think about the last time a friend made a mistake with you?  Bet you wished you hadn't judged them, talked about them behind their back.  Is it so hard to try and understand someone from their point of view?  I think we all deserve to think about how it would feel to walk a mile in that person's shoes.  I mean, I think I'm lucky with my friends.  And whenever I hang around people that are judging me... I can FEEL it.  And it makes me so uncomfortable, I don't even want to be around it.  It's poison.  And not worth one second of my time. 
  2. Relationships: think about the last time you thought in your head, "if only he would....our relationship would be so much better"  or "if she would just_______I would be able to give her everything she needs" what about "he is so not romantic.  I wish he would be more loving"  DON'T THROW STONES.  I think one of the things we can do to make all of our loving relationships better is to think about the other person.  What kind of day did they have, what kind of mood are they in?  Why?  How can we help THEM.  How can we make THEIR day better.  Try it.... I bet they try to make yours better.... criticism will get you no where.  Flattery... well, if I hear one more time that I'll get further with honey than I will with vinegar....I wish this were an easy lesson, but it's just not.
  3. Work.  OMG~ think about the last time some dumbass at work made your day longer, your projects harder, created more work for you.... and all you are thinking is, WHAT A F*-/+% DUMBASS!!!  Did you ever wonder what is going on in their life?  at home?  How busy are THEY?  Did they just make a simple mistake?  Are you wasting more time worrying about what they did to make your day worse....think twice about throwing that stone.  Your ass will be in a glass house and make a mistake as soon as that hand cocks back to throw.  Trust me.... I can preach.  I'm the MFing choir.
  4. On the road.  I WILL NEVER MASTER THIS LESSON no matter how hard I try.  But then I turn around and accidentally cut someone off.... or speed up and want to get in front of them because my lane is ending and I hate to be behind someone.  You bitch and moan about someone on the phone while they are driving and then pick up the phone to call someone to complain about it and ride someones bumper without even knowing it while you do this.....
I write about these things because they are my weakness.  I can be so selfish sometimes that I make myself sick.  What about me?  Why do I have to suffer?  These are common thoughts, but the bottom line is that things can be so much worse. 

I can't tell the whole story, but I know someone who is terminally ill with cancer.  This person is making sure that all their ducks are in a row at their place of employment and scheduling every meeting they can to transfer things over to their replacement.... someone told me they were looking back on a meeting they had with them and was thinking negative thoughts about them because they were falling asleep in that meeting.... wonder how they feel about that now knowing this person was heavily medicated due to a terminal illness?

This can pertain to so many aspects of your life.  Remember this next time your judging thoughts creep up... about anything.  Your family, the homeless person on the street, the stranger at the mall... or even better WALMART!  :P

DON'T THROW STONES or any other heavy objects.  They hurt when you don't see one coming, and get hit right in the forehead.  Nothing is strong enough to take a stone to the feel it.  Every time.

~trying to get there... one day at a time~  Hoss