40% through.... and 6 Epiphanies

In one month I will be 40% through my 30's.   I've been reading what others think they've learned in their 30's and it's funny to hear the different perspectives.  There is a constant I do see throughout all I read... and it's contentment.  I thought I'd reflect and think about what I've learned in my 30's so far... brace yourselves.  It may not be clean, or pretty...

1)  I've learned that after you turn 30, and everyday that passes... you really do stop giving a shit.  I'm telling you, you could not PAY ME MONEY to go back to my 20's.  What a freaking torture decade.  I mean, the teenage years aren't coming up roses either, but at least you think you know everything and run the world.  In your 20's life starts slapping you in the face on the right, and roundhouse kicking you on the left....and you realize you don't know a damn thing!  But in your 30's... you all of the sudden don't give a shit.  About what people think, about you, your clothes, if you are different.... you stop caring about pleasing people really.  You come to the realization that pleasing others doesn't make you happy... pleasing YOURSELF makes you happy.  DUH.  How genius is that?!

2)  Being a friend is more than being available on a Sat night from 7-2am.   It's true.  You start to figure out who is really your true friend, and who isn't.  I mean, I think this is a lifelong journey, but you start to weed people out.  Figure out who is a bum, who is wasting your time, and who really contributes to your smiles and your happiness....Who would be there for you if a immediate family member passed away?  If your sibling was addicted to drugs?  If your parent was terminally ill?  If you got DIVORCED??   If you haven't had anything big happen to allow you to find out who is your homie, and who is your roll-dogg.... you will.  And I bet you'll be surprised.  The thing is, #1 comes into play here, because you just aren't friends with those people anymore.  The ah-ha moment turns into a 3 second decision and boom... you're back to not giving a shit.

3)  You realize that your purpose is not to "get somewhere", your purpose is to enjoy the ride.   Setting goals, having dreams, not settling... all of these things are required to become successful.  But the key to happiness is to simply take each and every day at a time and enjoy it.  It may not be a day that was great, or you may not be in a place you want to stay in... a period in your life you'd like to quite frankly move the fk on, but you have to enjoy every single day to be happy. 

4)  You finally are content, and actually ENJOY spending as much time alone as you can.  Remember in your teenage years and your 20's you really had to constantly be with someone, or around someone to feel happy?  When you were alone you felt like you were missing out, or not liked, or lonely.... well dammit, thank your 30's for the feeling of contentment.  I'm telling you, there ain't nothin better than kicking back on the couch in giant sweat pants, no make up, glasses on, hair up, a way-too-big glass of Cab in your hands and the DVR remote to 7 smutt TV shows you have taped for the week including your guilty pleasure Teen Mom and whatever-Housewives for the moment.  Cheers to that!!

5)  It's a roller coaster, but if you are single in your 30's, you come to a place where you realize, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE.  I mean, think about it.  If you are a woman specifically, and you are single in your 30's, it looks a lot more glamorous on SITC (If you need me to type sex in the city, I feel sorry for you).  Quite frankly, it can really suck sometimes.  "Everyone" is getting married, on to having kids, may be on their second.... but then you realize, that a lot of those "everyone" are getting divorced, not happy in their marriages....Think back to the past relationships you've had.  Can you even IMAGINE marrying those people?  (we all have one we maybe could imagine... but stay with me)  They weren't meant for you.  That wasn't the right time.  You weren't the person then, that you are now.  People change... and I know I wasn't ready, and hadn't met the right people.  But you would think you had some sort of DISEASE if you are in your 30's and not married.  Someone said to me the other day, "I just don't understand why you are still single.  You are smart, you are pretty, you are funny... You have a good job, take care of yourself....."  Hmmmmmmm  Did you ever stop and think about that fact that maybe it was MY F$%#&NG DECISION?!  Jesus.  Why is it when a woman is single it's HER fault???  I'm here to tell you, if you are single in your 30's, be thankful.  God is putting you right where you are supposed to be.  And you will meet someone that'll knock-your-socks-off, and when you do, you'll be glad you waited.....

6)  You realize that making memories with those you love, is way more important than anything else in the world.  You start making more time for those who fill your soul.  You realize that you've fallen in love with your friends children, that you want to go on trips, but only with those people who are worth it... and you make time for making memories.  Memories are the keys to finding the places in our soul we don't know yet.

I don't know everything.  (like I did at 16)  But I know I'm not insecure and confused.  (like I was in my 20's)  What I know so far, are these 6 Epiphanies I've learned and I can't wait to learn more in the next 6 years of my 30's.... I am enjoying every. SINGLE. second.  :P

60% to go....

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