Wednesday, April 8, 2015


Today I am 37 years young. 

I typically don't like birthdays.  Actually- I've mostly HATED them.
I've made myself feel like I am "lacking" because I've never really fit the mold of "where I should be in my life" box. 

Funny how every single year that passes this gets more and more ridiculous to me.  I mean, not all those who wander are lost.....

This birthday, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  Literally.  I feel like no one is more full than I am with life. Years have become like a cracker jack prize (insert age appropriateness here)-  WHAT'S THE NEXT PRIZE?!  What's the next thing I am going to know?  What else am I doing that is stupid and wasting energy??

I feel lighter, happier, and present.  I asked myself, what are you doing differently?  What have you learned?  Here's a few bullet points for your review:

  • It's all about them- not about me.  Other's reactions/moods- it's their "stuff" coming up- not mine. 
  • If something is hard to do- I need to do it MORE.  The more I do it- the better I'll get at it.  If something makes me uncomfortable- I should do it twice.
  • Every aspect of my life is connected.  Work.  Friends.  Relationships.  Alone time.  All of these things can compliment each other or conflict- it's up to me.
  • Laughing is like a Ibprophen/Xanax/wine cocktail (not that I know...)- and available for free at any time.  No Rx required....And EVERYthing is funny.  All things have humor- even in all the stuff that isn't going as planned.
  • Friendships have different definitions to different people.  AND THAT'S OK.
  • I cannot change people.

  • "You are enough.  You don't need another person, place or thing to make you whole.  God already did that.  Your job is to know it."- M. Angelou 
  • Yoga is a great way to turn off the hamster wheel in your brain.  It also is therapy.  Call your therapist now and cancel your next appointment- go to yoga.  And then be quiet....
  • I can control absolutely nothing.  No matter how hard I try.
  • Love isn't heavy.

  • Respect has to be earned, not forced.
  • Expectations are a guaranteed pathway to disappointment.
  • Altruism is a major key to happiness.  New word for me- new way of life.  Volunteering is a big one for me.  Spending time with the homeless women of the Raleigh has really been fulfilling- in so many ways.  Also LISTENING is such a huge form of altruism for those around you who need an ear.... Looking someone in the eyes when they speak- can be the biggest part of a conversation.
  • Church.  Knowing that God is present in my life in everything that I do is not only comforting- but helps me feel secure.  I've finally found a church that gives me what I need spiritually.
  • Family is important.  Even if you don't need them, they need you.  And they're sorry for all the bad stuff and want to give you all the good stuff- even if they don't know how.  So forgive them.  They did they best they could at the time with the tools they had.  I feel there are no exceptions to this.  (trust me- I've tried to come up with many).
  • Take care of your body and it will take care of you.
  • Confidence comes internally- not externally. 
  • I am not a victim.  Of any circumstance.
  • LET. IT. GO.  Every last bit of it.  Everyday.
  • A child's laughter fills every hole, missing piece, empty space, that I feel.  A big shout out to my friends who had kids for me to benefit from their innocent youth.

Cheers to 37 years!  I will enjoy this DAY. And look forward to every additional one I get to experience.  Thank you all for your impact on my life- the good, the bad and the ugly.  All of it is helpful and all of it is grace.

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