Monday, December 19, 2011

Stones, Glass Houses, and other breakable items.

I think that the most poisonous action in our society is what I like to call throwing stones.... Judgement.  It is impossible not to do.  EVERYONE does it...... no exceptions.  (well, except maybe the Dali Llama, but I haven't met him so I won't assume).

Why is it that people think that if we throw stones, it helps to build our foundation?  Make us look stronger?  Because it doesn't.  Ultimately, it makes you look weak and every single one of us RESIDES in a glass house.  So at some point, someone will be throwing one back. 

I think this can pertain to so many things.  Let's make a list:

  1. Friendships.  Think about yours....when was the last time you made a mistake in a friendship that you truly value?  I mean, I can think of way too many.  My hope always is that my friend on the receiving end realizes that it is just that... a mistake.  That I didn't mean to upset/hurt/react in any way negatively.  But hey, I came from Adam, I make mistakes.  So now think about the last time a friend made a mistake with you?  Bet you wished you hadn't judged them, talked about them behind their back.  Is it so hard to try and understand someone from their point of view?  I think we all deserve to think about how it would feel to walk a mile in that person's shoes.  I mean, I think I'm lucky with my friends.  And whenever I hang around people that are judging me... I can FEEL it.  And it makes me so uncomfortable, I don't even want to be around it.  It's poison.  And not worth one second of my time. 
  2. Relationships: think about the last time you thought in your head, "if only he would....our relationship would be so much better"  or "if she would just_______I would be able to give her everything she needs" what about "he is so not romantic.  I wish he would be more loving"  DON'T THROW STONES.  I think one of the things we can do to make all of our loving relationships better is to think about the other person.  What kind of day did they have, what kind of mood are they in?  Why?  How can we help THEM.  How can we make THEIR day better.  Try it.... I bet they try to make yours better.... criticism will get you no where.  Flattery... well, if I hear one more time that I'll get further with honey than I will with vinegar....I wish this were an easy lesson, but it's just not.
  3. Work.  OMG~ think about the last time some dumbass at work made your day longer, your projects harder, created more work for you.... and all you are thinking is, WHAT A F*-/+% DUMBASS!!!  Did you ever wonder what is going on in their life?  at home?  How busy are THEY?  Did they just make a simple mistake?  Are you wasting more time worrying about what they did to make your day worse....think twice about throwing that stone.  Your ass will be in a glass house and make a mistake as soon as that hand cocks back to throw.  Trust me.... I can preach.  I'm the MFing choir.
  4. On the road.  I WILL NEVER MASTER THIS LESSON no matter how hard I try.  But then I turn around and accidentally cut someone off.... or speed up and want to get in front of them because my lane is ending and I hate to be behind someone.  You bitch and moan about someone on the phone while they are driving and then pick up the phone to call someone to complain about it and ride someones bumper without even knowing it while you do this.....
I write about these things because they are my weakness.  I can be so selfish sometimes that I make myself sick.  What about me?  Why do I have to suffer?  These are common thoughts, but the bottom line is that things can be so much worse. 

I can't tell the whole story, but I know someone who is terminally ill with cancer.  This person is making sure that all their ducks are in a row at their place of employment and scheduling every meeting they can to transfer things over to their replacement.... someone told me they were looking back on a meeting they had with them and was thinking negative thoughts about them because they were falling asleep in that meeting.... wonder how they feel about that now knowing this person was heavily medicated due to a terminal illness?

This can pertain to so many aspects of your life.  Remember this next time your judging thoughts creep up... about anything.  Your family, the homeless person on the street, the stranger at the mall... or even better WALMART!  :P

DON'T THROW STONES or any other heavy objects.  They hurt when you don't see one coming, and get hit right in the forehead.  Nothing is strong enough to take a stone to the feel it.  Every time.

~trying to get there... one day at a time~  Hoss

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

When you are quiet... You can listen. Imagine that?

Life is busy.  We can't find the time to keep up with the ones we love, working out.... grocery shopping.  There just doesn't seem to be enough time in a day to do everything we want to do.  Yet, we are constantly feeling empty in certain ways.  We seem to feel like hamsters on a wheel to no where.  We sometimes feel like we are running 100 miles an hour in the wrong direction.

When was the last time you were still?  No TV.  No Phone.  No radio.  No books, No magazines. 

You cannot be authentic and fulfilled unless you are quiet and listen to your body and what it's trying to tell you.

Whether it be work, relationships, friends, location, or even a status check to see if you are moving in the right direction in your life.  When you are still, and listen, your soul will tell you where to go.  What to do.  and what it is that you are needing.

Listening to this, and following is a whole other story.....

Are you strong enough to be still and listen?

In yoga, my instructors always say that restoration is just as important as the poses and flows.  You have to let your body restore instead of always taking from it, moving it, building it.  Active restoration is the key to all the answers you are looking for.

Next time you feel the need to fill the space with words.... don't.
Next time you have a few minutes, run a bath and don't turn on the music.
Next time you have a free morning, make your coffee and sit in the still quiet of the morning.

Why do you think the most successful well known people in the world meditate everyday?? 

It centers their mind, body and spirit.  Try it some time.... after a little getting used to, I promise you'll be pleasantly surprised.

I can remember in my early twenties (shout out to those of you in them, because the SUCK) and I had such a hard time being alone.  I had to constantly be surrounded by people, doing something, going somewhere...  I remember forcing myself to learn how to be alone.  Be quiet.... be still.  It is one of the very few certainties in life.  It is the answer.

Silently~  Hoss

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Oh so thankful...

I love Thanksgiving.  I love to eat.  I love to drink.  and I love to be Thankful.  What an amazing combination of a holiday!! 

Everyone hates the thankful game... when you go around and say what you are thankful for.  WHY IS THAT?!  Damn.  It's fun.  I had to force people at work to play this game today....I will have to say I was thankful for their sarcastic answers :)

If nothing else you can be thankful for the rest of this blog that will hopefully make you smile. 

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.   

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?"”

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often."

This made me thankful that I don't HAVE TO DO THAT!!!
What are you thankful for?

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!  Eat your face off and then take your fat asses to the gym :P  You'll be thankful you did. (just throwing it out there... dang.)

Love you<3, Hoss

Friday, November 18, 2011

Things you'd have to give up....

So if you follow this blog, you know that I've discussed several thing like the grass always being greener; being single is easier than being in a relationship; I DO WHAT I WANT!; and if you know me, you know that I enjoy things the way I like them.  Period.

If you are single, male or female (holla if you hear me!) there are several things you do, like to do, or ways you like to do things that are your own.  You go through your moments of wishing you had someone.... and then being SO glad you don't have anyone to worry about but yourself.

Do you ever think about the things you'd have to give up if you WEREN'T single?  How that transition would be?  If you are 20-something I bet you don't.  If you are 30-something, I'd bet my paycheck you do.  I bet some of you are even still single because you are so damn worried about it.

But what would you have to give up if you got into a relationship? TV shows......Alone time? Being there for someone while they are in a bad mood and you just had the best day ever.... (that's a doozy, huh?) Talking, when you don't feel like it....having to consider someone else's needs... I mean, I have a lot of my own!

For example:  I'll throw it out there.... I can't sleep well AT ALL.  I am more than just a light sleeper.  If you are breathing you are going to wake me up.  Even going on a girls trip requires my ear plugs.  Yes.  I wear ear plugs when I travel, or when I have to sleep near someone.  They are pink, don't get it twisted.  And they are beautiful.... well... until they go in my ears.  And then I am sure I look like Frankenstein's wife.  Just for the record... I'm not giving this up. 

I hate doing the dishes (my poor roommate) and I'm not in the business of doing them because I feel guilty.  Not going to change.  A clean dishwasher could sit there for DAYS at my house if Ash wasn't around... dishes would just pile up in the sink.  (I'll pour some out for my homie this weekend.... thanks Ash!)

I love to cook, and when I do... I cook a lot.  But I don't feel like cooking all the time.  So I'll eat cottage cheese... or steamed broccoli... or a damn Eggo for dinner.  That may have to go, right?  LEGGGO DAMMIT.

I sleep surrounded by pillows.  I LOVE MY BED.  I have six regular pillows I sleep with.  I'd have to make room.....or just get a bigger bed.  Yeah, I'm going with the bigger bed.  Holidays are more scheduled, moods come into play... more showers, more laundry....being NICE.  Sigh~

Is it worth it?

Hmm... I wouldn't know.  I've got my fat ass on the couch right now eating out of a bucket of Edy's with a spoon, double dipping while watching re-runs of basketball wives, drinking my second glass of Malbec and it's 7pm on a Tuesday.  JEALOUS?!

Just throwing it out there... and I'm kidding.  I look forward do it.... complaining about it... and falling into it.  Roll your eyes, call me a hopeless romantic... say what you will.  It's the truf truf.

Until then... "it's only me until I decide."

Love Always,  Hoss

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Personal Space Soap Box

Can we talk about personal space for a second?  Listen.  This week I feel violated. 

Because of my job and my work our regiment, THIS girl is around a lot of people regularly. I understand that in hot yoga I have zero say who is in my personal space.  I'll suck that up and move on because that is out of my control.

But I don't know if it's been a full moon or the planets aren't in alignment or WTF is going on.  But erryone has been in my SPACE.  All week long, every day.

If I can smell your breath.  You're too close.

If when you laugh you spit on me... YOU'RE TOO CLOSE.

If you are a man, and I am a woman....and if we moved one more inch we could be kissing, YOU'RE ASS IS TOO CLOSE.

When you laugh, don't lean IN to someone.  You and your dragon breath and new fall germs need to laugh backwards.  Not forwards.  No touching required when you tell a funny joke.  Honestly~

I like to be at least an arms length away.  I don't want to know that as a woman you need to shave your face.  I hate to smell people's breath.  If I am backing away from you and you keep moving closer.... I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY.  Why would you move closer to someone when you are less than an arms length away, and they are MOVING BACKWARDS, sideways, diagonal... just to get the hell out of your direct line of infestation???

Short. Not so Sweet.  And to the Point.

Personal space is noticed, felt, and should be respected. 

Thank you.  I'm just throwing it out there... you can throw it back if you want.

(from an arm's length away) HOSS

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Life is partly what we make it, and partly made by the friends we choose...

I spend a lot of my time complaining about things, people, I am definitely a tell it like it is person.  Good news is I never lie.  Bad news is, I could be a bit more optimistic. 

But I have to say with all honesty, that I have the most solid, true, amazingly fun, consistent, caring friends of anyone I’ve ever met in my life.  Everyone who meets them says the same thing.  People are amazed by how close we all are, how supportive we are to each other and how much we lift each other up on a daily. 
I’ve always felt like I was lacking in life… I never had a true version of what society deems as a family.  I am in my mid 30s and not married, no children… what I realized is that I have more than those who have all of the above.  I have a huge incredible support system that fills me with such happiness….. I couldn’t ask for more in life.

My best friend has been my partner in life, my sister, since I was 18 years old.  We have been through so much together… death, horrible family situations we would not wish on our worst enemy, disease, marriage, birth, unforgiving heartbreak…it’s unbelievable what a person can go through and come out unscathed with a true friend to go through it with.   She is my "person".

           Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.
Her daughter is my niece.  People have a hard time understanding this.. they always ask, “are you two sisters??”  with such a look of confusion.  She always says, “by choice.”  I love that response.    This little girl has taught me what true, unconditional love really is.  It's amazing how much you can love when a child comes into your life.
                      She's three in case you couldn't tell

My close friends here in Raleigh are a force to be reckoned with.  We met back in college… a long 10-13 years ago… and simply have become family.  We do everything together… we vacation together annually. Our memories are unbelievable.  We are close with each other’s family, we spend holidays together, and we all allow each other, encourage each other… to simply be who we are and be proud. 
 A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked

We do not allow each other to settle for anything less than 150% of what we deserve.  I would not be where I am today.. who I am today without them.  We have spent a lot of our worst moments together... and most of our best.  As we grow, I always take a step back.  I am so proud of all of us for the women we have become. 
Recently, we took a trip to the beach for a bachelorrette weekend (congrats biggie shawt!)  and I remember after we got settled, enjoyed ourselves the first evening... the next day we were all sitting around, simply enjoying each other's company and catching up.  We hadn't all been away like this in years... just us girls.  I remember the WAY people were responding to each other's stories... I was filled with pride.  Looking back at that moment, I thought, wow.  We spend all of our time lifting each other up, giving each other confidence and we really do have all the faith in the world in each other.  We want each other to always be 100% our true authentic self.  My cup runeth over....
Recently, I have been lucky enough to acquire a new very dear friend.  It's amazing to me that this late in life, I could become so close with someone so quickly.  Trust someone unconditionally.... how lucky can I be?  I value this friendship everyday.  She has taught me that putting yourself out there is never a bad thing and being yourself 100% of the time will always pay off....  I strive to be more like her everyday.
                                                       DO YOU!
With any of my true friends.... when we call each other, and ask, "how are you?"  We want to hear it.  Lay it out there... we don't want to hear, "fine".  That is how you know you've got a true friend.  And there have been some hard truths.  About our experiences and each other.  But we learn.  And the one takeaway from all of this is to only surround yourself with those that you learn from, that you want to be more like.  That make you a better person and contribute to your success.  Not those that take it way.  That bleed you... that take and don't give back.  If you feel like you are empty and can't figure out why, or aren't getting to the point in life you really want to be.  Look around.  Who is in your life?  Who do you allow to affect you?  Who do you GIVE to?  Spend your time with?  REEVALUATE who you surround yourself with if it doesn't bring you unconditional joy.   If you have to be or act a different way around these people.... let them go and don't ever look back.  You are wasting your time.
What a waste that is.  Not only is it a waste, but you are depriving yourself of some amazing people out there.  Trust me, their all my friends. <3

I  cherish and celebrate them everyday and hope I am the friend to each of them that they are to me.  This is for you!!
Enjoy a few amazing memories:

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Confessions of a new hot yogi....

I've been doing Yoga for years. I wouldn't say I am an expert, or even advanced in my practice. If I can get through an entire class holding every pose, I feel successful. But I absolutely love it. So when I came across a HotYoga studio here in town, that happened to be right near my house, I thought, WHY NOT? I had never done Hot yoga… and I have no idea what I was in for.

My first few times I could barely get though the class without laughing. These people were CRAZY TO ME.  Breathing weird, Shushing people….and I happened to be near a few people with the worst BO ever. Not to mention the one time where the heffer (you heard me) next to me must have had a cheeseburger before class because every once in a while I would get a whiff of her burp….and I felt like I was in a McDonald's drive through.


And lastly I hated it because I was HORRIBLE. It was so mother freaking hot in there I for sure thought if I stayed in the room for one more second I would die.

But I liked it.  There were some hot guys in there (BONUS!)... So I kept going (it's actually quite a sexy exercise if you can get through the 98-103 degrees)… The hot guys come and go... but I am in love with this class. <3


Now I’ve been doing it for just over 30 classes, and I have become one of those weird breathers.  I am part of the cult.  And if I don’t go at least 4 times a week, I feel gross.  My body feels different, in a good way now and I feel like I can kick someone’s ass.  It might be a small someone… but all in all… I am physically able to kick their little ass. 

Yet there are still these few lingering things that come back to haunt me.  I would like to give you a few rules… tricks of the trade… things to do and not do to if you are going to attend a class like this. 

1)      For all of you with rank ass feet:  If you are coming from work, TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF IN THE CAR.  Don’t take them off right before you go into the damn class!  You will stink up the entire room.  Not to mention the fact that HOT STEAM is pumping.  Can you imagine what the room smells like!?  I was so excited to go to class last night.  Got there a little early to get my spot… 45 degree angle from the instructor so I can watch their every move but act like I’m not….  I lay down to relax a little before class and I literally almost threw up.  I had to immediately sit up and realize that the horrendous smell is the guy’s feet next to me.  Not great.  :/

2)      DON’T EAT FAST FOOD before you go to class… or maybe even the day of class.  When you burp, and you are less than an arms length away from someone…. WE CAN PRACTICALLY TASTE WHAT YOU ATE.  Freakin nasty.

3)      I understand that there is a lot of deep breathing in this class.  I also understand that sometimes you are holding your breath and you don’t even realize it, so you exhale deeply… but come on people.  Lifting your arms over your head in the first 5 mins of class does not require rhinoceros breaths.  You are not a cow, you don’t need to moo.  You are not a horse… the naying is a little ridiculous.  You don’t need to sound like you are making sweet love on your mat.  Just do the poses, breathe without all the dramatic noise, and lay back if you can’t do a pose!  (I still take time outs.  Think I took three last night in class)

4)      For all you Yogi’s… when we are in savasana, it’s our most favorite pose.  It’s everyone’s.  We all came and tortured ourselves for one hour to do this pose.  Can you do me a favor and refer to number 3 with your zoo like breathing and keep the snorting down just a bit?  Is it really that hard?  I am using all of the energy left in my body to try and stop the 100 things I need to do and don’t need to do from firing in my brain.  You aren’t helping.

Yoga is not just an excuse to be weird.  Am I alone on this?  I don’t know.  I know as a general rule, I am not a huge “people” fan anyway.  I avoid crowds, loathe the mall…it’s possible I could just be a hater.  Well…Whatever.  I’m just throwing it out there…  :P


Your snotty fellow yogi~  Hoss.